True confession time. Many years ago, although I considered myself extremely accepting of LGBT individuals (as they say, straight but not narrow), I asked a wonderful lesbian a terrible question. Okay, yes, it was 2004, while my home state of Massachusetts was still trying to decide whether marriage was a right open to all citizens (and not just the straight ones), but still. This 45-year-old woman wore a gold band on her left ring finger that I knew matched the one on her female partner’s left hand, and one of us brought up the subject of the marriage equality debate. At one point in the discussion I asked, “So, have you ever been married?” There was a long pause, and then she replied, “Just the once.” I nearly melted in shame, and so I should have.