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This novel was originally published in 2014 by Kensington Publishing as The Revelations of Jude Connor. Per publishing industry standards, as the author I had limited input regarding the book’s title and its cover image.

I consider this book to be among my most substantial works, and as time went on I felt more strongly that I wanted a different cover image and that I wanted to reissue the book with my original title: And If I Fall.

As with any reissue in which a book's title is changed, there is the risk that some readers who had already purchased The Revelations of Jude Connor will purchase And If I Fall, believing it to be a different story. I have taken every possible step to avoid this error; if this happens despite my efforts, I apologize in advance.


Jude Connor’s rural Idaho hometown is a place of strong values and high expectations. For those who fit into the local church’s narrow confines, there’s support and fellowship. For those who don’t, there’s ostracism in this life and damnation in the next.

Jude wants desperately to be saved—to believe with the fervor of the charismatic Reverend Amos King, whose sermons are filled with brimstone and righteousness. But every time Jude thinks he’s found the right path, there’s a fork in the road, and Truth seems to be in a different direction.

As much as Jude craves the certainty the church offers, he finds himself at odds with it. Without intentionally rebelling, he befriends Pearl Thornton, considered an unrepentant heathen; he craves the support of Gregory Hart, whose church standing is questionable; and the feelings he has for his friend Tim Olsen make him fear for his own soul. But then Reverend King offers Jude sanctuary, special guidance, and a path into the Light.

Will Reverend King be able to help Jude preserve his place in heaven? Or will the reverend's own demons cause hell to swallow them both? The answer lies in Jude's willingness to follow his own path—even if it leads him far from everything he's known.


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Digging Deeper

For educators or anyone else interested in where this story came from, you can read the background information provided, which covers homosexuality, Christian evangelism, and the inspiration for the character Amos King. Please note that this information contains spoilers for anyone who has not yet read the book.